With Coachella only moments away, we’re double-checking our inventory, making sure that we have everything we want and nothing we need. No wait – scratch that, reverse it.
We should remind you that the cardinal rule of music festivals is this: expect the unexpected. No matter how prepared you think you may be, shenanigans await and abandon will be lost.
So please take care of yourself, or you could end up being that guy…
Before we begin, we should mention something important:
All of these stereotypes can be attributed to chicks as well. Remember – we’re not sexist.
Super-Duper High Guy
Puff puff, pass brosky. Ah snap, did [lastfm link_type=”similar_artist_radio”]Kanye West[/lastfm] already go on??
Everybody knows it’s there – it’s part of the experience. Yet those who prefer bong-rips as a finer alternative to the concert going on 50 yards in front of them are missing the point.
Plus, when you’re super-duper high, you think uploading videos like this are enlightening.
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
What’s that? You’re mumbling again.
We have NO idea how you downed that entire handle of tequila before 3:00pm, but if you want to be a drunken moron who can’t find their tent, go ahead. While we go off and enjoy [lastfm link_type=”similar_artist_radio”]The Strokes[/lastfm], you stay here and struggle with that sandal.
Passed Out Guy
Mmmmmpppffff. Buhhmmmmmmmfff. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Everyone could use a nap between sets. Hell, it gets hotter’n hell out there. All we ask is that when you rest your bones, please get out of the front row. That music is so loud… and you’re gonna fell the beat… and you may end up pulling a stunt like this during [lastfm link_type=”similar_artist_radio”]Ratatat[/lastfm].
Hello! You like? We friends! Touch it!
Sorry, dude. You’re ironic outfit is so 2000’s. This decade’s new hotness is green man.
Kicked Out For Doing Something Stupid In Front Of A Cop Guy
Don’t taze me, bro!
Don’t wanna get booted back to Avenue 50 before [lastfm link_type=”similar_artist_radio”]Animal Collective[/lastfm]? It’s pretty simple – don’t get caught being a moron.
Dirty Dread Guy
Clear some space, your crowding my dance floor….
Ya know, as long as you’re not slapping us we’re cool. Especially you dance like this during [lastfm link_type=”similar_artist_radio”]Duran Duran[/lastfm].
Stage Climber Guy
AHHH I LOVE YOU ROBYN I LOVE YOU ROBYN AHHH
Nothing kills the vibe harder than little Miss Sunshine getting Superman tackled fifteen minutes into the set.
On behalf of all of the artists at Coachella – don’t jump on the stage.
We’re all born naked —- society is the one with the problem!!
Feel free to express yourself. Just keep it in your pants.
One Man Dance Party Guy
And finally, there is one type of guy we wouldn’t mind to see you channel – that is the One Man Dance Party Guy.
Aren’t familiar? The One Man Dance Party Guy doesn’t give a f*%k about anything but the music and the moment. Try being this guy for a night, and you may just find yourself the center of attention.