After an attempt at capturing a Guinness World Record for shortest public concert caused friction between White and Guinness officials, the quirky singer-songwriter is back at it. White is hell-bent on securing a real, valid and published world record.

According to a release from the White-owned label, Third Man Records, he has already begun his quest. “During the rest of the performances on his current tour supporting his new album “Blunderbuss” (which incidentally is currently in the running for the world record of “the fastest named album in history” *pending), Jack White will every night on stage attempt to break the world record for most metaphors in a single concert.”

The comically written official statement continues, “Third Man Records encourages all attendees of said concerts to please not interfere or interject with any metaphors that they witness occur during the show as to not disqualify or worse yet, trivialize the metaphor in question.”

During a concert Saturday night in Gulf Shores, Alabama, White attempted his record-breaking attempt. Unfortunately the effort was derailed when “Mr. White trivialized a metaphor by saying it too quickly. It was something about the moon being a faucet of light but was uttered too fast to be counted.”

‘Til that point, Guinness officials who’d been flown out from Britain, had counted thousands of metaphors. Some were lyrical and others were inspired by things he saw on stage or audience members clothing.

According to Third Man, Guinness representatives will return to watch the next night’s show to begin the “exhaustive, scientific, and absolutely authoritative and factual process all over again.”

As White rolls on with his Blunderbuss tour, he still has plenty of opportunity to set his record, assuming he can get the Guinness officials to stick around.

May 22 – New York, NY – Roseland Ballroom
May 24 – Detroit, MI – Scottish Rite Theater
May 24 – Detroit, MI – Scottish Rite Theater
May 26 – George, WA – Sasquatch Music Festival
May 27 – Vancouver, BC – Queen Elizabeth Theatre
May 28 – Eugene, OR – Hult Center for the Performing Arts
May 30 – Los Angeles, CA – The Wiltern
May 31 – Los Angeles, CA – The Wiltern
June 21 – London, UK – O2 Academy Broxton
June 22 – London, UK – Hammersmith Apollo
June 23 – Hackney Marshes, London, Hackney Weekend
June 25 – Amsterdam, NL – Heineken Music Hall
June 26 – Berlin, Germany – Tempodrom
June 27 – Cologne, Germany – E-Werk
June 29 -Werchter, Belgium – Rock Werchter
July 1 – Belfort, France – Les Eurockeennes
July 2 – Paris, France – L’Olympia
July 3 – Paris, France – L’Olympia
July 5 – Hamburg, Germany – Docks
July 5-8 – Roskilde, Denmark – Roskilde Festival
July 20-22 – Dover, Delaware – Firefly Music Festival
July 25 – Melbourne, Australia – Festival Hallm
July 26 – Sydney, Australia – Hordern Pavillion
July 27 – Byron Bay, Australia – Splendour In The Grass Festival
July 27-29 – Niigata, Japan – Fuji Rock Festival
August 3-5 – Chicago, IL – Lollapalooza
August 8 – Morrison, CO – Red Rocks Amphitheater
August 10-12 – San Francisco, CA – Outside Lands

-Jay Tilles, CBS Local


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