This Saint Patrick’s Day, don’t just follow the masses and do as everyone else does, celebrate it like authentic Irish people would.

You’d be surprised by all the things you won’t have to do. Start by not pinching people who aren’t wearing green.

According to The Christian Science Monitor, that’s a tradition that Americans invented — and it’s probably just to make some more money off of you. It’s kinda genius if you think about it…

Although green beer for St. Patrick’s Day is common in America, Time reports the Irish traditionally don’t include it in their celebrations… so other than the obvious Guinness you could also enjoy a nice Irish whiskey. And no, the cocktail known as an Irish car bomb is not Irish at all — it’s actually pretty offensive.

Also, forget the green hat.

According to the Mirror, early leprechauns actually wore red pointy hats — not green ones. Ancient Irish people also believed they would come to terrorize communities and kidnap kids… so maybe don’t dress like one.

If you’ve had one pint too many — order some curry fries and add the popular Irish “brown sauce”, a condiment made with malt vinegar.

But please oh please… no pinching!

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